Jobs You Can Do While Drinking (Yeah, During Office Hours)
We're going to say something that you're (probably) thinking -- "God, there are days where drinking on the job sounds appetising." Not all the time. Just some of the time. When the stress-o-metre is about to explode like an over-inflated balloon. Those kind of days. The problem is, drinking on the job is frowned upon if you're not a) Don Draper, b) Charles Bukowski or c) a 40-year-old entrepreneur that works from home. We mean, you could crack open a bottle and enjoy a tipple at work, but you'll probably find yourself updating your CV pretty soon afterward (and that's the sort of tedious task no one wants to do). Sigh. The reality is, all of us responsible adults have to wait until we've clocked off and left the office vicinity before we can enjoy a craft beer... or two... followed by half a bottle of Jack Daniels.
But you're not a responsible adult, are you? And we know that because, well, you're reading this blog post. That means a little part of you wants a job where you can drink during office hours. Cue some great news. We've found those kind of jobs. And they don't just let you sip on the good stuff, some actively promote it. Can we get a "HELL YEAH!"
We're not sure what their official title is (brewer? Master of the brew? Brew-maker? Brewing badass?), all we know is: they brew beer. And to do that well you've got to taste what you're brewing, right? Okay, so you can't get soooo drunk that you think adding tabasco to the recipe would be a good idea, but you can be the guy who created a beer that became soooo cool bearded-hipsters in Shoreditch began drinking it (probably out of copper mugs or something).
If you're not sure what a suh-mel-yay does, they get paid to describe how a wine tastes. Professionally. And, unless you're born with the gift of good luck, you've kinda got to drink said wine to be any good at this job. Actually, you've got to drink loads and loads of wine to be good at this job. Admittedly, most suh-mel-yays have a spit bucket by their feet, but we've done some research and we're pretty sure that's an optional extra.
As if being a food critic wasn't awesome enough already, you're definitely getting to pair your vegan steak with an expensive bottle of vino (NB: we know vegan steaks aren't a real thing... yet). It would just be wrong to chow down on a delicious plate of grub made by a culinary genius and only have a glass of lemon water to enjoy it with. Not that the restaurant owner would allow that. They want a good review and, apart from flying and driving, there's no scenario where booze doesn't make something better.
We should probably confirm not all authors drink. But all the best ones definitely do. Ian Fleming definitely did (#VesperMartini). Hunter S. Thompson never stopped drinking. Truman Capote basically had vodka and orange on tap. Oscar Wilde had a serious thing for Champagne. And Charles Bukowski, well, what do we say -- he was a big fan of all kinds of hooch. Whether that's the common denominator thank links their genius, we can't say. But to disagree would mean it's a coincidence and, come on, that's unlikely.
We interviewed a bartender recently (okay, we went to a bar and chatted to a barman while waiting for the rest of our party to show up) and it turns out there are a lot of bars that don't allow their staff to drink the stock, which makes a lot of sense. But there are some bars where you can. Usually that only happens if you own the bar, know the owner really well, know the CCTV blind spots, or work in a really-forward thinking bar. But that's fine. It just means you need to find one of these bars. Schimples.
In order to be a good PR person (*that's definitely not their official title), you need to be awesome with people. It's as simple as that. You need to be polite and charming and enthusiastic and buzzing. And then there's the whole social side of things with the events and parties and schmoozing. Ergo, you will be having a few drinks about five times a week.
Being a travel-writer means travelling the world, stopping off in different far-flung hotspots, and then writing down your experiences so that your readers know just how to make their vacation the best one ever. Of course, going on vacay means getting loose so, yeah, there's a lot of "researching" beach bars, signature cocktails, local nightclubs, and which restaurants have the best wine list to accompany their food menu. It's like the best kind of drinking on the job.
There's no scenario where a rockstar isn't allowed to drink. They can do it on stage. In their music videos. After a gig. Before a gig. While being interviewed. During businessy meetings. In the back of their chauffeur-driven cars. It's non-stop. And if anyone did have the audacity to say, "ahem, could you possibly not do that..." They would find themselves on the receiving end of a mega-meltdown, then get fired by their boss, and then watch on as the rockstar walks away... totally unscathed... and still drinking absinthe.
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